I Love You!

MUCHAS GRACIAS SAN ROMERO!

BAREFOOT ON HOLY GROUND

 

Barefoot I stood on Holy Ground

breathing in a circle of love

sharing the breath of life

in solidarity with a Saint.

 

The stillness was a needed gift

a special moment in time

connecting time past to present

lifting my soul on a pillow.

 

Then I heard a haunting sound

hurting my ears and the stillness

ripping apart this sacred time

why did that rooster have to crow?

 

The reason became clear to me

giving me a reminder so

the cross is not easy or smooth

not meant to hang upon my wall.

 

My fowl friend wanted me to know

I like the Saint must take my cross down

from the wall of my heart

following HIM and carrying mine.

 

My Mother knows me well

giving me yet another sign

a little red ball at Romero’s crypt

coming forth from the cross of his heart.

 

It isn’t about me or the look of my cross

its about those whose crosses are so real

if I want to follow my Savior I must not deny Him

I must help Him carry His Cross by responding to the cry of the poor.

 

8-8-10

HOPE POKING THROUGH!

It amazes me in the midst of rocks and concrete, a seed can bloom and bring new life to this world. This isn't a seed planted by man but a seed naturally planted by the forces of nature. In the midst of this Lenten Journey, this little seedling has become a sign of Hope. Today, as I end three weeks of 12 hour days of working, which happened to coincide with the start of my Lenten Journey, I needed this message of HOPE from Sister Plant. I am one tired man who was doing his best to walk step by step open to the Spirit, allowing Her to lead me through the desert to the Garden and the Resurrection. I have no idea where She will lead me but I pray and hope it is to a place of newness and transformation. I was starting to wane in my excitement for this wonderful but long season of Lent, with its "LETTING GO" but as I was walking Step by Step, I came upon Sister Plant singing a song of HOPE for me. Its sweet melody with heart stirring lyrics, that I know, is a GIFT from my Guide on this Lenten Journey. I can go forth with a renewed vigor because of what that song resonated in my depths." Like me, Brother Randy, newness is radiating from you! Its a newness all may not be open to see, but like you my friend, who spotted me, so will those who need HOPE see the Newness that She has sprouted in you." With that in mind and heart, I continue on, open to share and receive what She has in store for me. The journey will be long but I know when I need help God will provide. Shall we walk? I Love You, Randy

CHOICES AND THE SPOTLIGHT!

This life is so hard but can be so rewarding if we take our journey one step at a time. The journey is a long one and fill with opportunities to slip and fall along the way. It is amazing to me how much easier it is for us to focus on other people's journey then it is to take the steps ourselves. That may be the reason WE create celebrities, so that we can watch them and blame them for their mistakes, instead of taking some time to look at ours. I, personally, don't want to be a celebrity and I hope I am not no one's hero. I want to be a sojourner but not ever on a pedestal to be looked at as the way you should walk. Each of our journeys may share common paths but each is our journey.

This week, three LSU football players have been in the news for their mistakes. Reaction has been varied and overwhelming to the point that it made me sit back and ponder my reactions to this news. This news is only worthy of print and TV, because WE have made it so. If we would view these young men, talking about football players and other sport participants, not as celebrities but as youth on a journey; maybe it would not even made the printed pages or the tube. I know what they have done wasn't a good choice and I don't want to make light of it, but I am sure glad that my mistakes aren't under the microscope of a society that loves to build people up and go for blood when they fall. Instead of the outcry over a really bad choice maybe we need to focus our thoughts on why does this story lead our newscasts?

For those who don't know, these young men were accused of using synthetic marijuana, a product that is obtained at a lot of gas stations and convenient stores. My first reflection is why isn't there an outcry at the people who sell this stuff to our young? It is legal but is it moral? We are in an uproar because three young men made a choice to use this product when they represent LSU in sports but I haven't heard one person complain about the many business people who sell this product for a profit. To me these people who sell this stuff are the ones we need to be challenging to make better choices. Who should be able to make choices of higher morality, an eighteen year old or a business person who receives their profits from people that they share community with?

This brings me to an inner reflection on how I spend my money. I have to spend my money not just where it is convenient for me but try to support people who care about the common good instead of just the bottom line of greed. How can I cry out loud about three young men who made a bad choice and not look at my choice of supporting the same businesses that allowed these young men to make their choice. No person is an island, their choice will affect others but so does mine. The big difference is that they can play a game that we love to watch and we can watch while playing the same game.

How many of us in Tiger Stadium or at home on our couch, have watched these three young men play while partaking of legal stuff bought at the same convenient store that sold the legal synthetic marijuana. When I was their age I was sneaking rum into the game and drinking as I cheered with my whole heart for the Tigers. I was doing something both illegal and I have to admit a bad choice. I know that I affected the viewing pleasure of many people by my bad choice. I was confronted by policemen and ask to calm down but because I was a fan and not a player, I didn't make the news. I know that I am not the only one, then or now. I also know it wasn't just me that was doing this with other students but now and then were joined by adults of all ages. Our choices affect and will affect others and so in the midst of the swell of reactions about these young men, I challenge all of us to pray for them and let this event shed some light of those bad choices we still make on our journey. Shall we walk?

I love you,

Randy

KITTIE'S SPIRITUAL LESSONS FOR ME!

I always wanted a dog, but my mother would always say, "over my dead body." I never wanted a cat and wasn't a cat person but my youngest son wanted one so we brought one home from my sister's house and so the journey started, learning from my cat, Kittie. I found out I have more dog in me than cat. What do I mean? Well dogs tend to want to please their masters whereas cats do what they damn please. I have always been more dog because I like to please people but Kittie has taught me that in order to have some time to just be "me" I must at times do what I please. Unlike Kittie who always was happy being Kittie, I tendto always want to be someone else. Kittie never wanted to wear a mask, as a matter of fact, she couldn't stand anything being attached to her, like the plastic shopping bag she accidentally got tangled with. Kittie was OK being Kittie and if that didn't meet your expectations, that was your issue not hers. I know I am human and not a cat, but by studying Kittie, I came to see that I have to take off my masks and be happy being the Randy God made.

Kittie also stood her ground even to the bigger dogs that roamed our street. I watched her many times arch her back and moan and hiss in order to prevent a dog from taking over her territory. I have been a little full of fear in my life and especially when it came to big German Shepard (yes the dogs, but also those people that barked real loud and seemed to me, to know everything). I tended to allow them to bully me into backing down from stances that I felt strong on, instead of standing my ground. Kittie, lost a few of her battles, as we all do, but I admire her courage to take a stand. I need to be more like Kittie when it comes to standing up for my passions.

Kittie also was a very generous cat, allowing opossums, raccoons and other cats eat from her bowl. She would just sit there and watch them eat and then when it was her time to eat, she trusted that her masters would fill that bowl back up. I can learn from Kittie to keep giving from the gifts of my Master and trust that God will keep my bowl full.

Last but not least, I can learn from Kittie's death. A few weeks ago she disappeared with out any signs of foul play. I am certain she knew her death was pending and decided to go off to surrender her spirit to the Great Spirit. I need to start the process now, by surrendering more and more of the things that I am attached to, so that when God calls me HOME that I may be willing to let go and enter FREELY into the Eternal Dance prepared for all of us. That day may be a long way off and could be today, but if I live my life free of attachments, I will be more willing to go when called and in the mean time, I will be freer to live my life as it was meant to live for the Glory of God and the good of all. Thanks for being a special part of my life Kittie.

I love you,

Randy

 

PEW ><> STREETS

I often have parents come to me and make comments about how their children are no longer attending church services, and how they are worried that they are going down the wrong path. As a father of two children who in the moment are not attending church, I try to comfort those parents by helping them to see that the journey is just as important as the destination.  In our Judea-Christian tradition, God gave us ten commandments to guide us on our journey, and none of those ten deal with church attendance, although three deal with our "right relation" with God and the other seven deal with our "right relation" with others. So how has church attendance become so much of a gauge of our being on the right path whereas our relationship with God and our relationship with others seem to carry not much weight at all. What we do from Monday to Saturday is not much concern to us. I personally can understand why my sons stay away for church, after all, they saw how I lived working hours and hours of overtime to meet my needs, instead of putting forth energy helping others.

I want to make myself clear, I am not downplaying Sunday worship at all, but I do not feel it should be the only gauge in judging our relationship with God. One can attend church every Sunday and not even be trying to live the Gospel at all. On the other hand, one may have not ever heard of the Gospel and be living it better then us attending church every Sunday. Sunday, for me, is a time to together with my sisters and brothers to thank God for all the gifts we receive as a community and be challenged by the Gospel to bring those gifts to the service of others and not just to meet our needs. As a Catholic, I believe in the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist. Mass, to me, is a family meal where I can come together not just with my biological dysfunctional family but with my real disfunctional family, and despite our differences and our brokenness, we can be fed by the Real Presence of Christ in his Gospel, in the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist, and in the Real Presence of Christ in his BODY---the CHURCH. We are fed and nourished to go forth and be the Real Presence of Christ in the world.

I have to admit that I am not always successful in bringing Christ to others but I do believe that I have grown in my ability to take the Gospel to Life and Life to the Gospel. This past year I had a remarkable experience with some of our youth in doing just that. We spent 30 hours not eating anything and using our time learning more about how we are called to serve others and make sure the gifts we have aren't just used for us. The weekend was to help us gain awareness of how so many people in our world go hungry because the gifts God gives us as a Human Family aren't always shared with our sisters and brothers. We also tried to come to an awareness of how we are gifted to have clean water at our disposal. To watch our youth, who get such a bad rap these days because they do things different from the ways of old, do things that I never did at their age, was a humble blessing.

The more I think of it the more I realize that my church attendance didn't do much to teach me about serving others, it was more geared to me saving my soul. I am so excited about the youth and the Church of the future. More and more I am seeing how they hunger to grow in their love of God and their love of neighbors. The 30 hour fast, which wasn't easy for them, was one that will FEED them and for a long time. They made makeshift homes out of cardboard and pallets and slept outside by a busy and noisy street. They participated in a service project in which they went house to house begging for food for the poor, even though they couldn't eat yet. They made appeals at all masses for donations to be used to supply clean water in Guatemala (over $6,000 was donated). Over all these youths, some who go to church and some who don't, heeded the Gospel call to care for their neighbors.

So as I go forth on my journey, I am thankful for the opportunity to have spent some quality time with our youth and to know that unlike many reports, the Church---the Body or Christ, is in good hands and will be bringing about God's Kingdom for many years. I thank each of them for their saying yes to God and to the challenge of taking the Gospel from the Pew to the Streets.

I love you,

Randy

HUMANITY>

Was Jesus fully human? Was Jesus fully divine?

These two questions are ones that come to my mind and heart quite often. I know what the Church teaches and how the way you answer these two questions can label you in their eyes but I still feel like it is important for me to keep diving into this mystery of the humanity and divinity of Jesus. The more I struggle to understand, the more I realize the importance of holding the tension between the two, it is there that I am challenged by the gospel accounts of this remarkable FRIEND of mine.

If I look at Jesus as God only, it lessons the effect of his message. For example, his message of non-violent love. His love of enemies becomes a "PIE IN THE SKY" teaching. His accepting death, instead of using violence in retaliation, can easily be attributed to his all knowing attributes of being God and not something he expects from us.

On the other hand, if I look at him as human only I can see his lifestyle of not owning anything and walking from town to town spreading his views as sort.another one of those radical guys who I admire but have no need to be challenged by.

It seems to me, that when I "hold the tension" between Jesus' divinity and humanity that I am challenged more and more to take the gospels serious. If Jesus was the perfect unity of divinity and humanity, then it is his actions that reveal to me God's will. With that as my guiding LIGHT I go forth each day to live for the Kingdom, doing my best to let the Divine Breath in me to help lift the HUMANITY of all, to its true DIGNITY.

I know I fail daily to live as Jesus lived and that doesn't deter me but motivates me to keep trying. Why? Because I have a FRIEND who wialked before me without the false security of this world and showed me what was important, not living each day for ME and my wants but living each Breath of each day for the needs of all. I have a long way to go but the journey continues with the RELATIONAL LOVE of a FRIEND who is truly HUMAN>

I love you,
Randy

ENTERING THE DANCE!

Prayer is defined in many ways by many people, some good and some not appealing to my ears, which probably says more about me than about the definition. I would like to share with you not another definition but my humble experience with prayer. To do so, I have to let you know that although prayers, asking for others and my needs, are an essential part of my faith life; I want to look at it from different lens.

One of my favorite images of God is the Divine Dance, which Richard Rohr has so wonderfully articulated for me. He has helped me to see that my life is all about the DANCE. God is this wonderful Dance that pulls me in and pushes me outward in a rhythmic flow of LOVE, like all dances I am not forced to enter but am always invited to join in and participate fully with my whole being. My very limited understanding of God as Dance has been slowly revealed to me in my struggling but growing prayer life.

As I surrender more and more to the DANCE, the more I realize that my being not only grows from the Rhythm of the Dance but also becomes entrenched in the movement of the dance. What is this movement, this pulsating rhythm? It is God, God who loves all, invites all and aches for intimacy with all. Our God is not a static god that waits to intervene but a dynamic God who constantly invites us into an intimate union and with the same energy sends us forth to love others. There is no absence of God, no movement away by God, only our deciding not to enter the Dance.

Prayer is participation in the rhythmic flow. It is not so much our action but our surrendering to this wonderful pulsating rhythmic flow. It is allowing ourselves to surrender the lead position and allow the Dance to lead us. Entering the Divine Dance is like being naked in the presence of your BELOVED and allowing your BELOVED to bring you to Orgasmic Joy, not in an energy draining way, but in an ENERGY GIVING way that propels you forth to share the JOY with all. Prayer in its many forms and techniques allows us to enter the Dance, a Dance that won't allow us to be static but ejects us forth to be an essential part of the Dynamic Body of Christ.

Silence is an essential part of prayer; it goes much deeper than the lack of words but invites us to truly be present to our Beloved. Silence is being attentive to the Dance, allowing us to hear the Music, to feel the Beat, to slide with the Steps and to fall into the arms of God. When we spend time in silence we pray not to have our worldly needs met, not to change ourselves but to see ourselves as God sees us. The more we enter the Dance, the more we see that the Dance is not in some far away place but is ever in our midst. This awareness allows us to go outward to serve others, thus inviting them into the dance.

The truly Good News is that this DIVINE DANCE is not an exclusive dance that we have to pay dearly to enter, it is an INCLUSIVE DANCE that pays us in ways that seems "to good to be true" and that sisters and brothers is GOOD NEWS.

I love you,
Randy

BROTHER FOX!

 Towards the end of May I was given a wonderful opportunity to spend some time in the Heart of God Hermitage in Woodland Park Colorado. I was ask to present a day of reflection for a contemplative group that meets on weekends at the hermitage. Saturday morning as I was walking the grounds trying to get my thoughts together and nerves settled, I came upon Brother Fox. Our encounter seemed to last for some time but in reality it was most likely only a few minutes. I am glad I took this picture, although it fails to capture the encounter that took place that cool Saturday morning at the Heart of God.

I have spent some time reflecting of this encounter with Brother Fox and would like to share with you, some of what came to my heart. First, the encounter was short and at first I had wished for more time and was a little upset that it wasn't to be. PRESENCE! That short time of being present with Brother Fox was a gift and one I will never forget and hopefully will help me remember how important my gift of presence can be to others, even when it is just for a short moment. Brother Fox has helped me to see each and every breath I share with others to be a gift that we share with the Real Presence, God.

Secondly, my short but intense encounter with Brother Fox has shown me how I can let fear go and just accept the present moment and its giftedness. I can truly say, there was no fear in my heart and I sensed no fear coming from his eyes. I walked toward him and he towards me without an ounce of fear and for that brief moment I felt like our spirits was one. You may think me to be nuts, but the connection between him and I was so real that I was about to go close to pet him, when I realized it was a wild animal in my presence. I didn't retreat as fear would of made me and I didn't throw something at him to scare him away as fear would have, but I bowed to his presence with respect for him and his space. If only I could learn to do this with others. To respect their space and not crowd them with my expectations of them and them meeting my needs. Brother Fox, I must see in all, especially those who are hurting and wounded. I must not fear meeting them in their pain, but I must respect where they are and allow them to take steps when they are ready. 

Thirdly, Brother Fox has brought to me a deeper awe of my giftedness. I battle self-esteem issues and although I have grown by leaps and bounds, I still have room to grow as far as accepting me for whom I am and not trying live up to others expectations of me. Brother Fox with his peaceful reaction to my presence in his habitat, has reinforced in my depths that like him, I have been created to be me. My journey as a Christian in Training has been one of accepting my humanity and learning to be fully human. Brother Fox wasn't spending energy that cold morning to try to attain perfection, but was most likely trying to find some food to bring back to the den. In our encounter I saw a creature that was ok with who he is and one that didn't want to be me. Brother Fox help me that morning to stop fearing what the group would think about me and just do what I was called to the mountain to do, share from depths who I am, a creature of God, Brother Fox's brother and a brother of all.

I love you,

Randy

 

DON'T FEEL LIKE PRAYING!

I was told by someone today, "I am scared you will be angry with me because I didn't feel like praying this week." This young woman who is a remarkable woman despite being hurt really bad, felt guilty that she didn't feel like praying and didn't read her bible enough. I was filled with compassion for her but also a little angry that she was LED to think this way. I know prayer is important but I feel her reponse is due to a error in the way prayer is taught to us.

Prayer is relational. It is not something we do so much as something we participate in. Prayer is being in union with God and allowing God to embrace us. I don't know about you but for me relationships are both fun and work. Being present to another is not simply sitting in front of another but allowing that person's space to be in union with ours. This can be so poweful and JOY provoking but at the same time can be very risky. We have to risk being vunerable and allowing that other person to take some of our control. It is the same with God.

Giving my control over to another is the start though of a remarkable journey which can bring us into the Garden in the midst of flowers with the sweetest nectar. With God, this being with the Great Spirit, can bring us to a space between words and thoughts where we can experience the Sweetest Nectar that only God can give. To get there we have to let go of control and trust a space that is new to us, a space that seems eerie and uncharted. This can be frightful but our refusal to let go should never be a source of guilt but should be viewed as a part of the journey.

There are days I can freely let go and enter that HOLY SPACE and there are other days that I run from that space. In honesty, there are more times of running then leaping into that HOLY SPACE but I can truly say that I am learning that God doesn't run but Eternally Invites us into that Holy Space.

So as I reflect on that young lady's concern I am reminded to allow myself to have those days when I can't trust. Like any relationship, there will be days I can trust and days I want to run. Unlike in most relationships though, God will never run.

I love you,
Randy

THE RIVER

I sit on the bank of the mighty Mississippi River watching its strong current pass by, thinking of how this applies to the love of God. God's love metaphorically is like this river's current. God's love is ever flowing by its own nature and it is so much easier when we go with the flow than when we try to fight it by swimming counter current. When I hop on the Ship of Love, I tend to do so much more good then when I try to use my own floatation devices.

The Flow of God's Love is so strong that it can help me do great things when I allow it to take its natural course. When on the other hand, I try to force the Flow I can cause great harm to others and myself. I see this tendency not just in myself but in institutions of all kinds, including the church. When we as individuals or we as institutions try to damn God's love to use its energy for our own interests, we tend to do more harm than good. Sometimes I think it is fear that causes us to try to harness God's love instead of letting it flow naturally. We fear its power and our lack of control.

I would be very fearful of leaving this secure bank and diving into to the Mississippi's current, so I can understand our reluctance to leap into the Flow of Love that is God. So as I sit here on this bank I am challenged to throw off my cloaks of security and dive head first into the Flow of the RIVER of LIFE. I don't fully comprehend it or where it will leave me but I know if I just sit on the bank I will never experience the LOVE of the FLOW and I will delay what lays ahead in the Life Giving Waters of Love.

I love you,
Randy